Barack Obama is taking liberties and likening himself to Christ! The gall! The sheer un-Christian-ness of it all. Or should we say anti-Christ(ian-ness)? Look at his confidence - arrogance, we say. Awful!
Oh, no wait, it's cool now, look, we have a One of our own:
And she's, like, way super confident too. Except that's great. Because believing you can do it means you're just as able to do it as if you were actually able to do it. See! She didn't hesitate a bit, Charlie. And really, why would she. Humility is for suckers. What? It's a Christian value? Whatever. It's overrated.If you think about it, it's a bit of a sexist flip-flop. Normally, a confident man is a confident man while a confident woman is an arrogant bitch. Here, however, the confident man is the anti-Christ, while the confident woman is imbued with a sense of god-like justice and purpose. Amen. See, we're totally progressing. If you had any doubt about how far we've come in America, all you need to do is think back to last night's Emmy Awards when Heidi Klum's tuxedo was ripped from her while she screamed. Someone pass me a Virginia Slim.
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