Monday, August 21, 2006

Crimes Against Vocabulary

One of Senator Clinton's opponents suspended her campaign after her daughter was nabbed nicking retail items. Candidate says she'll be spending every waking moment dealing with her daughter's sticky fingers until she's sure the kid is getting the help she needs. It's a deft political response, really. It could also be a nice little study in the way men's and women's campaign strategies differ. I'm not saying the male candidate wouldn't stay home to but baby in a corner, but chances are, there's a polling study somewhere that proves that voters still prefer woman candidates don't neuter themselves out of likeability by, say, having their husband deal with the selfish antics of their offspring.

What gets to me, however, is Ed Rollins's quote that the campaign will be functioning again in a few days. "This is a personal tragedy."

Nooooo. Shoplifting is not a tragedy. True, the markups resulting from retail establishment compensating for petty theives will drive up your chinos a few cents each year, but as much as I love my Luxe card, this still isn't a tragedy.

Tragic for fundraising efforts? Maybe. Tragically inconvenient in the middle of a tough primary? Probably. Freudian slip of acknowledgement that kiddie just messed up your plan and hobbled your moral high horse (no, I don't know for sure, but I know all candidates would like to ride one)? Ding!

This is a tragedy the same way that JonBenet's "killer" is a killer. Not so much.

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