Monday, June 13, 2005

Some Things You Can't Fix

I expected that around this point in the day, I'd be posting about the Governor's press conference to announce the November 8 Special Election.

Instead, I'm sitting, rather dumbfounded at some sad news. Not about me, nor my family, thankfully.

I rarely get too personal on this blog - mainly because I think it's egocentric enough as it is to believe anyone might care about my views on policy and politics. I never assume anyone is going to care about the rest of my life - and hopefully this is a better blog for that.

Today, though, I learned that the mother of someone who was once very, very close to me has passed away. I don't know exactly when or how because he and I haven't spoken in almost two years due to a fight that though valid at the time, saw both of act inappropriately and unfairly at various points, and resulted in the breaking of all ties. It's something I've regretted frequently - best friends are tough to come by in this world and shouldn't be cast off easily, if ever.

But should he ever have googled my name and know about this site, I hope he reads this and knows that if I had known, I wouldn't have waited until now to leave a very ineloquent message on his voicemail. I hope he would know, even without confirmation, how sorry I am for his loss. I loved his mom - and I think she was fond of me as well. She was always very kind to me. Our families had known each other since we kids were toddlers.

I can't help but think back to all the times when I was home on vacation that I jogged past his parents house and thought about stopping in to say hello. I never did. The Hallmark Hall of Fame Channel movies are right: you shouldn't forgo those opportunities.

I didn't know her when she died. And I didn't know him when he lost his mother. But the death of anyone's parent is humbling and frightening because it means any of our own parents might be mortal. That's surely natures cruelest trick - to let us be raised all along by people who aren't allowed to stay the whole time we're here.

So I'm sending this into the 'sphere knowing that he'll probably never see it. But I know there were and are many around him who love and support him. This is just one more thought out there in the world that I hope he can feel.


The_Question said...

I'm sorry to hear about this. Parting with friends on bad terms is always rough, and leads to so many opportunities for guilt down the road. I wish you luck in trying to get in touch with your friend, and hopefully you two can mend some of the damage that happened in the past.

redneck muppet said...

you're good people ms. cd.