Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Okay, Seriously, Dude - Go Govern Something

The entertainment industry - and all who labor in it - comprise, if not the whole backbone, several key vertebra in the California economy.

However.

Just released from the Governor's Office:

06/29/05 15:04:18 Statement by Governor Schwarzenegger on the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences' Decision to Reject the Creation of Award for "Best Stunt Coordinator"

OFFICE OF THE GOVERNOR
GAAS:274:05
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
06/29/2005
Statement by Governor Schwarzenegger on the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences' Decision to Reject the Creation of Award for "Best Stunt Coordinator"

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger today made the following statement regarding the recent decision by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences to reject the creation of a new award for "best stunt coordinator":

"I was deeply disappointed by the failure of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences once again to recognize stuntmen and women and their great contribution to the film industry. I know first hand the value of these dedicated professionals, and without them there would be no action heroes. In fact there would be no movies. Stunt coordinators are responsible for every piece of action in a film, making films more exciting and drawing the audience in. Over the years the Academy has created new categories to honor outstanding technical achievement and it is my hope they will reconsider their decision and honor stunt coordinators in the same way."
Next up, Steve Peace condemns the Academy's rejection of best performance by a vegetable that's really a fruit.

No outrage of the continuing absence of a best grip category? Best best boy? Best PA? I know half of Los Angeles is waiting for that one.

More importantly - don't you have something better to do with your time? Like, say, manage the world's 5th largest - yet shaky - economy. Have you noticed any of these poll thingies lately? This was on letterhead, guys. This is an official decree. Not over the failure of the legislature to recognize marriage between two people who love each other regardless of sex or gender. Not over the failure of the legislature to come up with a viable redistricting reform proposal. Not over continuing genocide in far off lands.

No, not everything needs to be a weighty life or death proclamation. But it does need to merit the governor's seal. Press releases between governor's of states in the Rose Bowl or World Series "betting" the states' primary product = funny. Releases meant to remind California voters - who are, may we remind you, Mr. Governor, increasingly disinclined to buy what you're selling - that Arnold Schwarzenegger Is An Action Movie Hero = lame beyond belief.

Get it together.

[Beat]

But I'm always saying, aren't I, that no one wins an argument by saying "that's not funny." What if I say this isn't funny enough? Have at it, readers. I know you got good material. I know The Roundup will skewer this accordingly tomorrow. So take your best shot. Make sure to use dummy bullets and a stunt keyboard, of course. But don't expect recognition for doing so. And the Governor will support your outrage over such an oversight.

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