Tuesday, June 15, 2004

TLPAACPOH-PBEWANABATT

How's that for an acronym?

Thanks to L.A. Observed for linking to a funny post on Scourge of Entertainment. There doesn't seem to be a direct link - so here's a direct quote:

Angeleno Defamation Watch - GQ cited!
The League for Protecting Angelenos Against Condescending Putdowns Or Half-Praises By Easterners Who Are Not As Bright As They Think (TLPAACPOH-PBEWANABATT) issues its first Norman Mailer Award/citation to
Gentleman's_Quarterly Magazine. First, for this little drool piece of snootery, buried deep in paragraph two of "Jake, Rattle and Roll", a profile of the philosopher Gyllenhaal, by Brian Raftery.

Responding to JG's comment that people are oft surprised to learn he is an LA native, Raftery observes:

In a way, he seems too real for that town - capable of expounding on the merits of Howard Dean's candidacy; conversant in this week's issues of both US and The New Yorker; as excited about OutKast as he is about the excellent steak he just ate a celebrated Manhattan restaurant.."

Yes, what a shock it is to learn that Angelenos can talk about Howard Dean and read The New Yorker- and enjoy steaks at fancy restaurants no less!

I'm not even going to start quoting New Yorker west coast sales stats. Lemme just say, wasn't there a time when musing on other people's depth in the space of a Gyllenhaal profile was, like, um, illegal or something?

The same issue features "A GQ Guide: LA the Next Capital of Style" a shopping guide to the City of Angeles. The piece's author, Glenn O' Brien,
introduces his treatise on expensive furniture stores thusly:

In Los Angeles, to live is to shop. Angelenos shop their scripts, they shop for deals, and as they transit the sunny palm-fronded grid from point A to punta B, they shop not for what they need as much as for what they can imagine.

If only it were so Glenn O' Brien. If only...

In any event, you two, this time we'll let you off with a fifty dollar fine and a promise from you not to turn up next week bragging about having sold the rights to your half-finished novel to Paramount.


Yes, it's true that I frequently warn about the hazards of becoming an over-booster, someone so into undoing other people's snobbery they out snob the snobs, but in this case, the post struck a cord.

East Coasters do exhibit an unnerving tendency to want to reward the unfortunate Angelenos when we manage to get up in the morning or differentiate between Manet, Monet, Money, and Manolo.

Like - for example - west coast is suckered by Enron et al in the energy market - power goes out a few times - billions are lost - moderate local news coverage. New York City goes dark and more people than usual have to take the Ferry - BREAKING NEWS COVERAGE ON ALL CHANNELS FOR HOURS. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT. HOW WILL THE REST OF THE COUNTRY SURVIVE? PEOPLE HAD. TO. WALK. DOWN. STAIRS. NOOOOOO!

No respect, I tell you.

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